Buttered Toast: A Delicacy
Friday, November 24, 2017
There is a large gap in the door in our bedroom.
The door leads to a small courtyard that connects our casita with two others.
Yes.
We live in a casita.
An Adobe casita built in the 1820s.
The walls are about a foot thick.
There is no central AC/ Heat.
You open the windows for a breeze.
You light a fire in the iron stove to keep warm.
300 sq ft.
Spiders.
Black widows.
Ground hogs.
Flies.
Many layers of dirt and grime that we have washed down the drain.
We camp on the floor on a donation air mattress from our British Angel, Finn the Landlord.
I grind my coffee with a quartz rock.
Josh is building a fence around the yard so the dogs can play unleashed.
We are adjusting to life without a "real" range.
We have one induction burner, one electric grill, and one convection oven.
All totaling around $300.
We have a combo washer dryer that only washes...
It's brand new.
I set up a clothesline today to let the sunshine help us.
Our electricity trips regularly if we try to use too many modern conveniences at once.
We have two space heaters to help when we run out of chopped wood.
Which is often.
We have to use store bought water because the water isn't safe for drinking.
We have yet to receive our furniture, our belongings... it's been 12 days since it was due to be delivered.
We have been camping in our casita for 20 days now.
It reaches into the 30s at night.
We have less than 24 garments of clothing between the two of us.
That isn't a lot to keep warm with.
Lots of cold toes.
We are sharing one car until we can pick up the other in Colorado Springs.
We made a decision at the beginning of November to follow our hearts.
Our hearts scream for New Mexico.
After all of this bratty banter.
All of the modern conveniences that we have lost.
We adore it here.
The head space.
The magic.
If you listen.
If you let your body be in tune.
This whole area pulses with it.
Creativity that winds deep within the earth like the ground hog that tunnels in our yard.
Popping up and unearthing new viewpoints.
When you take away all that you thought you needed.
When you really strip yourself bare.
It is an interesting battle to win.
To look yourself in the mirror.
To see yourself staring back.
Knowing.
That all that petty shit doesn't really matter.
Those goddamn movers that fucked you over and won't deliver your precious stuff.
It doesn't matter.
It just pisses you off and makes you forget about what matters.
How you handle your situation when you are stripped bare.
Do you crawl in a dark hole and cry how horrible life has been to you?
Or do you listen to the magic that is around you?
The love that is right next to you?
We didn't celebrate a traditional turkey dinner yesterday.
We didn't get to talk to family.
We didn't even consume turkey.
It was another day just like all the rest.
And just like all of those days.
We smiled at each other.
We embraced as much of that day as we could muster.
We weren't perfect.
That brat that rises took hold.
But we acknowledged it.
We let it throw its fucking fit.
And we got over it.
And we went to bed on a cold ass, hard ass air mattress.
And we still had the strength to say I love you.
You are such a bad ass.
You tackle all of this shit life throws.
And you punch it in the face and laugh.
~~~
So this is love
Thursday, September 28, 2017
We sat on a little wooden bench as the sun rose from the mountains.
Golden threads of sunlight cast over the landscape before us.
Our adventure in Astoria is coming to an end.
Making each moment a memorable one is top priority now.
***
He tells me he loves me.
His hand on my thigh.
He shows me he cares.
His lips never lie.
He consistently impresses me.
His heart just for mine.
He is the strongest man I know.
His dark soul that still shines.
***
As I sit here, writing this post, he is making dinner.
Fried chicken and pancakes.
***
Now that is love.
He just told me how pretty I am.
Just now.
No prompt.
Just a sweet, slightly devilish grin.
Just for me.
I'm in love.
~~~
Sunset Storms
Monday, September 25, 2017
Really enjoying the grey days again.
It has been sunny and gorgeous fall weather here on the coast.
But thankfully some of the grey has come back to play.
So what would you do when thunderstorms loomed and fat rain drops fell from the sky?
Play on the beach all evening!!
I'm feeling a little melancholy with the thought of packing up and moving again so soon.
We really have enjoyed living here.
And we were just getting up and going with jobs.
But whatcha gonna do when you can't find a more reasonably priced rental or even buy a house?
Ya gotta go where the wind takes you.
Where the waves lull your mind.
I was dreaming of wildflower fields this morning.
Coffee and yoga.
Dogs running for miles.
Wellness.
Good vibes.
Maybe we will create a retreat venue of sorts someday.
Or I'll have a wildflower farm?
I'm a little lost on direction these days.
A lot of balls in the air.
Either way.
It's a fun ride and fuck it, I'm enjoying the hell out of it.
I've been dealing with a lot of turmoil in my head lately.
Trying to find a place to live.
Trying to budget smart.
Trying to live a happy life.
My problem.
Trying not to worry.
Fuck that and just stop worrying.
It makes me sick when I do.
When I think of the long list of shit to do.
Fuck that list.
I'm going to listen to classical music.
Sip my organic butter coffee with marine collagen and MCT oil.
And enjoy my day off.
Oh and go to the store for tampons, laundry soap and dog food.
Again.
Because after a duck round up with my neighbor.
And a trip to the general store only to realize they don't open until 9:30AM (it was 9AM).
Still gotta adult a little on the day off.
LOL
hormones.
yep.
That's what this post should be more appropriately geared towards.
I'm moody and the grey skies make me happy.
So fuck you.
And just be wavy.
~~~
Goodbye Waves
Saturday, September 16, 2017
It's the middle of September.
We have been in Oregon now for 6 months.
The beauty and air here still manage to take my breath away.
Driving along the coast.
Watching the waves.
Listening to the lull of the ocean while you drift to sleep.
Chowder and crusty bread thick with butter.
Freshly baked sweets.
Coffee.
Oh coffee you thrive out here.
Toes in the sand, wavy beach hair.
Sunsets and Sunrises for miles.
We work at "pot shops"
We have met great people.
We found Dahlia.
We explored a little...
We cozied up a lot.
***
And now we look south once again.
Our hearts have moved on.
This place of beauty.
Where forests meet the ocean.
Where sand dollars line up like soldiers left on a battlefield after bloody wars.
Where the people are kind but know the harsh of the winter and rain.
The PNW.
You will always hold a place in my heart.
From memories in a distant life.
to
New memories of a life created here.
It is with a bittersweet symphony that I say goodbye for now.
~~~
Grateful for Homework
Monday, July 31, 2017
I am grateful for Day 3 AND Day 4
What do bacon pork burgers with smoked provolone and spinach on a toasted brioche bun and nine drams have in common?
Sunday night homework.
Granted I only tried four of the nine.
Work perks.
Boyfriend perks.
I am grateful for all of these things.
And puppies.
Oh and cool booth mates at the farmer's market that bring me fried oyster tacos for lunch.
Seriously.
I am grateful for so much.
First day of work at the shop.
I'm a bundle of nerves, excitement, and some sleepy mixed in.
Cheers to Monday!
Stay wavy.
~~~
space
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Day 2
Today I am grateful for...
space
space
to create
to comfort
to plan goals
to weave dreams
~~~
End of July Bits
Friday, July 28, 2017
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| Dining room attitudes. |
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| I love it when he brings me flowers from the yard. |
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| Windowsill herb garden in the works. |
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| Dahlia, "I swear I'm being good... " while I catch her in the act of NOT being good. |
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| Look what I created Mom! |
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| They get me every time. |
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| She fell asleep like this. |
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| She crawls in his lap and he gets puppy lovin. |
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| Hanz is such a good pup. I love this face each morning I wake up. |
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| Oh Manzanita you are one of the greats. |
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| I took this screen shot because I knew he'd delete it off his instagram (and he did). |
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| This is what healthy looks like. LOL aka "A Healthy Mess" |
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| Worked in the new shop and it's coming along! Such a cool space that I'm grateful to be part of! |
July has been a rollercoaster.
Work schedules continue to pick up.
Big plans in the works.
Life can be such a fun ride.
Hope you are enjoying the high moments and learning from the lows.
Stay Wavy.
~~~
You know when you find yourself stuck in a rut?
Mindlessly flipping through all of the self help insta stories or inspiration photos of the day.
And then one article, that is saying the same thing as the rest, just resonates with you at the moment.
Well this time it was from, "The Moon Sisterhood" email newsletter.
This was my kick in the pants to get up and do something about my rut.
Essentially, the practice that Anne is coaching you to try is starting a 40 day Gratitude Journal.
This goes by the belief that if you spend time on a certain practice for 40 days it will have a deeper impact on your life and is more likely to change your "rut" or whatever ails you at the moment and change it for the better.
So please, if you feel that tug to try a new practice, learn something that speaks to you, or simply be inspired by what Anne so graciously shares in her newsletters, please check out her post at
Without further ado...
DAY 1
- Today I am grateful for -
moody mornings on the coast
listening to the ocean while the windows are open
no Dahlia potty accidents in the house
good coffee
these two fluff muffins staying cozy and sleeping while I type
my handsome devil who sleeps peacefully with ear plugs so the dogs can play and "ruffhouse"
having this Friday off to enjoy these moments
~~~
Mellow Morning Melody and Memories of Moments
Thursday, July 6, 2017
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| Dahlia checks out the flowers Josh picked for me while I set them up for a photo shoot. |
Taking a moment to capture the calm of early morning.
After multiple potty trips outside, doggy breakfasts, more potty trips outside, one cup of coffee, lots of playtime and some photo sessions, we chill.
Sure I have plenty to do.
But today I'm starting off slow.
Taking time to sit and reflect and stare at open space.
Dahlia is asleep next to me in the studio while Hanz chills in the living room.
Update: Now Hanz is chilling with us in the studio.
Skies are grey and the air is crisp with ocean breezes.
A few birds singing but otherwise calm and silent outside.
Moments of de ja vu hit a lot around here.
Like how the little arched window at the top of the front door reminded me of my childhood homes in San Antonio.
How I used to watch the light of day stream in and make a little "sunshine" pattern on the floor.
We are supposed to be here right now.
It's funny how that works.
Three years ago I couldn't have even imagined this.
My life has totally changed.
I've changed.
And I'm really ok with that.
I still ache for all the sad that has happened in the past.
Sadness from a big chunk of my life that I let go.
If you're part of that past and reading this post now, I hope you know I'm sorry but it had to be.
You can't live your life being stagnant.
No matter how good people are, they aren't always good for each other.
I have no regrets.
I have plenty of healing left to do.
I ache on a daily basis towards those I hurt.
I am also the happiest I've ever been.
And I'm working on allowing myself to not feel guilty about that last statement.
So a little token of love to you and myself reading this in the future.
You are loved.
You are light.
You are allowed to be happy.
Stay wavy.
~~~
Heat Waves
Saturday, July 1, 2017
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| Seaside Chill Vibes |
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| Perfect Ride for beach life. |
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| Josh knows how to stay cool. |
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| Hottest Day of Summer in Seaside. 6.24.17 |
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| Lazy playtime. |
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| Gooberz. |
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| Hunters in their natural habitat. Bugs beware... |
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| On the prowl. |
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| Bug's gonna get it... Hanz saw a kitty. OR thinks he did... |
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| I swear I didn't chase the bug away... |
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| Oh it's BACK and I'm gonna get it this time! |
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| 1st day of work training and these guys are the best study buddies. |
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| One of my fav new things I learned about Cannabis and food pairing. |
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| This is good medicine people. |
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| Yes, she really did climb in his lap while he was working and he rolled down the hall to show us. |
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| Day 2 of work training, she's learning a lot! |
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| Hippie burger, potato salad, Caesar salad and a watermelon wedge. First food truck experience in Astoria. |
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| Comfy wherever she chooses. |
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| I told her training was over for the day, but she said she knows how to work the laptop... |
Well what a busy week.
Full week of training for me.
Josh continues to work more.
Dahlia is crate training.
Hanz is enjoying his freedom and big dog status.
We welcomed another addition to our little family - Harlequin.
1974 AMC Hornet.
She's sassy and sexy and a damn smooth ride.
We keep counting our blessings.
That car was parked for about a month on a corner about 5 minutes from the house.
When I got my second job we knew we were going to need two cars.
Craigslist finds just weren't panning out.
So we took a chance on this vintage vixen and are really happy we did.
We are slowly getting back into the chaos of routine and schedules.
It's not easy. And yes, I've been tired.
But it feels good.
You know, to take that stress of paying bills off.
We are going to have to pinch pennies for a while.
But after this month, August will be a clean slate.
I plan to pay off all the bills so no debt to hover over us.
No car payments.
Just monthly expenses (that we are also working on cutting costs).
We've got goals people and it's time to start putting that shit into action.
~~~
Blue Skies
Saturday, June 24, 2017
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| Small park near the casa. |
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| Another view from the park. |
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| Old house in Astoria that I'd love to fix up! |
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| Drive by shot of just another pretty house. LOL |
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| The road to the bank. |
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| Pinching myself that I live near here. |
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| Old farm truck, cool barn, blue skies, and gorgeous fields. |
With the passing of Summer Solstice, it seems the coast has woken up from a grey slumber.
The skies are as blue as the ocean.
Simply breathtaking.
On my trip to the bank.
Did I mention my hour and a half trip to the bank?
Well when you have a great account with Chase and can't find anything better at the coast.
You drive to the nearest one...
Darn if I have to drive through some of the most gorgeous farmland and mountains to get there.
I think I need to drive to the bank more often...
Cheers to the summer blues!
***
I had so much more I wanted to write.
But I'm feeling the lazy vibes of the pups snoozing next to me.
So I'm going to welcome the call of coffee and chill.
Today is my last day of "rest" after all.
~~~
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